


snakes be boxing

by sugarberri



Category: Homestar Runner
Genre: M/M, hhhhhhhhhhhhh horses hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 00:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13915293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarberri/pseuds/sugarberri
Summary: this is my first non-joke fic ever posted in the history of ever and i couldnt think of a name be nice to mhomestars having a bad day so strong bad and him play video games together. yah!





	snakes be boxing

**Author's Note:**

> if anything at the end seems weird its because i started getting very tired but couldnt stop working on it im too nervous to read it over rn dbfdsvhdjfdhs Please Be Nice To Me

Strong Bad sat on his couch, lightly tapping his weird hand on the side of it in wait. He had- somehow, for some reason- been roped into playing video games with Homestar today. The thing was, the weirdo somehow got him to arrange the strange affair at Strong Bad's own house, rather than the long legged buffoon's, which made no sense at all considering it Was His Idea. He Should Host It. But Nooo. The wrestleman grumbled to himself over it in frustration and mild embarrassment. Homestar had been depressed over something- couldn't remember what it had been, now- and after a few minutes of trying to prod at him to cheer him up with silly insults, something inside him went... soft. And somehow, it lead to him asking Homestar if hanging out would help, which the runner seemed to explode with joy at.

Really, what the heck was that? He was Strong Bad! He didn't go soft for anyone! It was probably some ploy Homestar thought up to make him look like a fool, he thought angrily. It certainly WAS 20 minutes after Homestar had agreed to come over, maybe he wasn't really coming over and had instead videotaped it all. Slowly the big red idiot got up, grabbing Snake Boxer 12 (now in 3D!) as he did so.

He froze to a stop and considered the game in his hand. Why had he picked this out even? Seriously, he could have just locked the door and fallen asleep and forgotten all about it. But instead his mind had been playing 'don't forget Homestar's coming over!' on repeat, not letting him forget, along with the image of how crushed the athlete would look if he was rejected after being so depressed earlier. It made Strong Bad feel... funny. He decided this feeling was just irritation at being started up the steps, fully prepared to angrily get some snacks and then even more angrily call up Homestar and ask where the Frig he is- but stopped by the doorbell ringing.

Well, stopped for only a few seconds. The doorbell just kept ringing after that, as if someone was smashing it over and over, and listening to it was getting annoying. It was probably Homestar anyway. Loserably late as always. Strong Bad discarded the video game on the couch and bounded up the steps as fast as he could, all the while wondering if 'loserably' was even a word.

The door opened and the wrestleman was greeted with a stumbling Homestar, who had obviously been leaning on the door in order to balance all those... boxes? He was carrying? Why did he have boxes? Whatever. The runner smiled broadly as he regained his balance, hopping a little in place.

"Stro Bro!! Sorry for being so late, I wanted to bring snacks but then couldn't decide what kind, so I decided to buy all of them, but THEN I didn't have enough money, so I called up Pom Pom! And then I had to wait for him to show up, and-" Strong Bad just silently let him in as Homestar continued to ramble, plopping down a massive pile of snack boxes on the countertop. His red head bobbed as he only partially listened to the chatter, picking up boxes of cookies, cakes, crackers, chips, and other unhealthy junk foods in order to look them over. 

Strong Bad glanced at the taller lad, shrugging his shoulders and cutting him off. "It's fine. But ONLY because you bought free food. That's always good on my part." As he spoke he gathered as many of the boxes as he could and picked them up. "You're not getting these back when you leave, by the way."

Homestar nodded, having already started eating a bag of marshmallows during his tangent. He picked up the remaining foods and followed Strong Bad downstairs, starting the chatter up again.

"I was really totally excited for our date tonight, Strong Bad! I was thinking about it all- oh. Oops. I called it a date again. Sorry! Anyway-"

Strong Bad felt his eye twitch as Homestar continued his jabber. The moron had gone and called their little outing a date like- what, three times now? It didn't make sense at all and just embarrassed him to death, making his stomach squirm. That's a sign of disgust, right? Homestar didn't even call his dates with MARZIPAN dates, just 'hanging out'. However, with how Homestar managed to keep his usual blank expression it seemed there wasn't much to it besides a little slip up. Homestar fumbled his word so much. He really needed to stop overthinking stuff like this, it wasn't like him.

Tossing the pile of snacks in a pile on the floor, he jumped onto the couch and sighed. Homestar instantly followed suit but with a bit more enthusiasm, making the couch shake. Luckily they had landed next to Snake Boxer 12 (still in 3D!) and Strong Bad swept it up into his hands, confidently showing it off.

"Now THIS is what we're gonna be playing tonight. I just got it, so I haven't played it much, but I promise you- I'm already a God at this game. Don't worry though dumbstar, I promise I'll sign your shoe when you lose." He threw the game in the air and caught it a few times as he boasted before he almost dropped it, scrambling to keep it in his hand and then regaining his composure. 

The taller held back a laugh, relaxing in his seat and kicking his feet lightly, taking glances down at the mention of them. "Do you really think so? I mean, I don't wanna say you're bad at games or anything bro, but usually I end up beating you so bad you threaten to strangle me with the controller cord."

Strong Bad clenched the game a little harder out of anger at that, then getting up and putting it into the fun machine that he had moved down to the basement- it was better for two people to play on a couch. "That TOTALLY wasn't because of you beating me! It's something to keep you on your toes! Only the best gamers know to keep their opponents on edge." A weird sort of mix of 'pfff' and 'pshhh' noise came out of his mouth, as if he couldn't decide which noise to make. "And to continue that, I was always doing my amazing tactic of wearing you down and then beating you when you least expect it, but you always quit before I can get the last part done."

That wasn't true at all. Strong Bad was usually the one to make them quit, rage making him too shaken to function and they always needed to watch a weird reality TV show to cool off afterwards. One Strong Bad insisted he hated, usually involving rich people picking out houses, and yet ones he would get so invested in that he would yell at the screen and rant to Homestar about how stupid they are. 

Either way, Homestar nodded in agreement and grabbed his controller as Strong Bad handed him it. "That's a pretty great point. And tactic! I wish I was a pro gamer too..."

This time the wrestler managed in making a definite 'pshhh' noise at the other as the game started up, adjusting his seating and glancing at the other. "Well, if you really want to be, just sit back and watch the professionals work."

He had hoped his words would lead to that literally happening- just Homestar sitting and letting Strong Bad knock him out in game. But the opposite happened. In fact, the armless weirdo seemed to get even MORE competitive from it- which was saying something, considering how competitive Homestar was. It was kind of terrifying glancing over at him and seeing the controller at work so fast, not only because of the no arms thing. In this upgraded multiplayer version, Homestar played as the snakes as Strong Bad was the snake boxer. And, honestly, Strong Bad caught himself thinking that the other was playing although they were on level 20 already- when in reality they had been on level 1 for 20 minutes.

Those 20 minutes were enough to make Strong Bad throw his controller down in rage, it bouncing on the floor as he wrapped his arms across his chest. Homestar let out a victorious laugh, sitting upright and beaming at the other who just glared back like a 6 year old who was denied a cool toy. During said battle, the shorter had for once not thrown around any threats for once, just angry noises and angry 'how are you doing that?!?'s, but that was most likely due to all the snacks he had been eating. As if on cue, Strong Bad reached down and started aggressively eating one of the cookies from a box.

After scarfing down the cookie he got up, kicking the controller out of the way and shutting off the fun machine on the way. "Now just to be clear, you didn't win because I was doing bad, and- actually, you didn't win at all. Because you're a cheater. Cheater." His boxing gloves picked up the TV remote and switched it on, flopping back onto the couch and flipping through channels with a sigh as he began their usual post-game ritual.

Homestar had long ago finished his marshmallows, and since the angry wrestleman seemed to have claimed all the other snacks, was now playing with the bag- crumpling it up and uncrumpling it, tearing lightly at the seams, the such. He looked up quickly when the round fiend spoke up, tilting his head.

"Nah, I wasn't cheating. If I was cheating I would tell you." Strong Bad gave him a confused look at this, finally landing on one of those weird house shows where rich people are picky and the realtors hate them. He shifted lightly, half facing the beanpole and half facing the TV so he could pay attention to both.

"Homestar, I know you're an idiot, but I don't know how to tell you that you're not supposed to tell others when you're cheating. That's why it's such a big secret and all. That's why I never tell." 

The absolute buffoon seemed dumbfounded by this, mouth opening a little as he jumped. "So... if I keep a secret, then that's cheating? Aw man, Strong Bad, I don't wanna be a cheater! If I were to even have one secret..." The bag of marshmallows ripped a little as he gasped, "What would Coach Z say? Cheaters can't be in any of the games!!" 

Now it was Strong Bad's turn to be silent in confusion. For a second, with Homestar's amazing game-playing-ability, he had forgotten all about how easily confused and gullible the other was. A small snicker left him as he leaned on the couch arm. This could lead in some really funny blackmail. "Well, you can just tell me your secrets. I'm a well known professional cheater, so no one will care if I have them. You can keep them safe with me."

A choked noise came out of the wrestler when the other seemed to body slam him, invisible arms wrapping around him- Homestar's equivalent of a hug. "Thank you so much Strong Bad! You don't know how much this means to me!"

Confused strangled noises came out of the red-faced man, face becoming even more red for unknown reasons as his stomach seemed to grow fuzzy. He huffed and then patted the other on the back, trying to hide his original reaction. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I know I'm great. Now just get tellin'."

Homestar leaned back, seeming lost in thought for a second. "Well- one of them is, this morning, Marzipan broke up with me. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone 'cus she said she might change her mind later. It made me really upset, 'cus she said it was because of you, and I didn't want her being mad mean I couldn't hang out with you any more!"

As the runner spoke Strong Bad decided to break into some of the chips, which he instantly ended up choking on at the mention of himself. "Me?!? What do I gotta do w-" The wrestler managed to cough those bits out before a thought dawned on him. Perhaps Marzipan had fallen for him instead? Something about the thought made him feel bad. Like, disgusted bad. Both because something about Marzipan wanting HIM repulsed him, and the way she upset Homestar so much to cause him to act the way he did earlier made his chest tighten and hurt. Not to mention, he was acting that way entirely because he thought he couldn't hang out with Strong Bad any more-

But, well, if Marzipan wanted him, that was good for his appearances. Definitely kept up the look that he was a cool dude who got all the girls. So he tried to not show this strange internal struggle powering within himself, instead smirking and egging on. "What was it around me that made her so upset that she broke up with you? If she's falling for me now too, tell her to get in line."

Homestar shook his head, not very phased by the other's reaction or sayings. "She's not falling for ya or anything. She still hates you a lot! I dunno what made her flip her lid! I just asked her if it was bad that I sometimes think about dating you, and the next second she's yelling at me saying you're becoming a real problem."

Nodding, the wrestler chewed his chips. "You're a real doofus. I can see why she would be mad about th-YOU SAID WHAT?" 

Chips sprayed out of his mouth as he shouted, the other making a grossed out face and wiping it off with invisible hands. It then seemed to finally process what he said and a blush crossed his pasty white face, squirming slightly where he sat. The athlete now looked to be incredibly allergic to facing Strong Bad.

"Well- I- Uh- Y'know! Bro date! Bro dates l-like... Uh..." He leaned over to Strong Bad and whispered, as if he wasn't currently the one he was talking to. "Stro Bro, do bro dates exist? I don't wanna weird out Strong Bad."

Luckily, the aforementioned Stro Bro was short circuiting too much to even pick up on what Homestar said. Homestar? Wanting to date HIM? The fuzzy feeling in his chest from earlier seemed to expand, as if it were like a blooming flower. But that's too poetic for Strong Bad's current situation. He looked like a sweating even-more-red-faced-than-usual baby clutching a bag of chips as if his life depended on it.

Now that the topic was forced at him, he had to admit he thought about it a few times. Every other day or so. Every time it popped up he brushed it off as a weird fantasy, brought on by eating too many fudge pops the day before or not getting enough sleep. Yet every time it made the fuzzy feeling come back and made him feel warm, softly warm, something he never felt when considering any of the 'hot babes' that he honestly didn't feel much interest in in the first place.

All this coming at him so fast made him pull at the chip bag too hard and the chips went flying, seeming to bring at least Strong Bad out of his haze. Homestar, on the other hand, was investigating the floor as if it was a masterpiece. 

The wrestler gulped and then sighed, all overwhelming feelings seeming to ebb down a little at the sight of the usually overly positive athlete so embarrassed. His arms fell to his sides, not bothering to pick up any of the chips he nudged. "W-Well- Th-That... That's a pretty frickin' stupid secret, Homestar."

Head snapping back up, the fresno nightcrawler looking fella looked as though he didn't expect Strong Bad to still be there. He relaxed upon noticing the other was doing that as well, and that he wasn't being yelled at. That was a good sign. Homestar's foot lightly kicked at the ground, actually at a loss of words for once. Just by looking at his face, anyone could tell he was dying to say something, anything, but nothing seemed to come. Strong Bad frowned, moving closer. Guess he had to do everything himself.

"It's stupid because you're not supposed to tell the person you're currently dating that you're thinking about dating someone else and expect to get away with it. What, did you fail Dating 101?"

This got a small giggle out of Homestar, who seemed to be attempting to shrug his non-existent shoulders. "It never felt much like we were really dating... so I didn't think much of it. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about it! And Marzipan's usually who I talk to over my thoughts, and... and..." He quickly shook his head, "Can I take my secret back? I don't want Coach Z to kick me off the team but I don't want you to avoid me 'cus of this! I don't know what I'll do if I can't talk to you any more!" 

Strong Bad's blush that had just toned down flared up again. Homestar really knew how to make a man feel special, even if it's done so in the same sentence where he thinks he'll get kicked off the sports team for having a crush. Not really being sure what to say in response to that (he was never a good comforter) and having thought about doing something dumb as all hell to silence Homestar quite a few times, he decided to go with the second option. It took no words and finally gave him the option to play through a fantasy he caught himself thinking up at night when he couldn't sleep.

And so he leaned forward and kissed the runner on his weird underbite of a mouth. It was awkward, and weird, and he really had no clue what he was doing, nor did he think it though in the slightest, but it only lasted a few seconds anyway. Strong Bad had never kissed anyone for real before, only his older relatives on the cheek when he was forced to, and figuring out he wasn't instantly perfect at kissing made him unable to face the other again.

Complete silence followed. Strong Bad's eyes had been squeezed shut since the start of the kiss and he hadn't dared open them since, the deafening silence (aside from the TV) making him even more terrified to open them. A small sound of movement prompted them open though and before he knew it, Homestar was once again pressed against him, giving another one of his signature hugs that came accompanied by empty air holding him tight.

Absolutely dying from embarrassment but with nothing to lose now, the now fully red faced wrestler hugged him back and Homestar almost squealed with delight at that, nuzzling him and bouncing. Strong Bad finally managed to get a look at him face when the athlete pulled back a bit and he looked the happiest he'd ever been in his life, before it faltered and he went back to the usual blank look.

"Was that a platonic kiss? Do platonic kisses exist? I mean, it wasn't great, it was really obvious you haven't kissed anyone before but- it didn't seem platonic! If it was I'll have a refund on my hug."

Strong Bad shook his head, a smile growing on his face. "No, idiot. You... Sure are an absolute moron, but... well... uh." He took a long breath in and breathed out, as if readying to speak in front of a crowd. "I. Feel... the. Same. That you do. For me. Y... Y'know... that feeling. Yeah. I sure feel that towards you too." 

With each word that came out of Strong Bad's mouth, Homestar inched closer to him, until they were literally pressed cheek to cheek. Strong Bad really hoped Homestar couldn't feel how hot his face was from embarrassment. Strong Bad scrunched his face up, he felt like he was gonna die. Why did this loser make him so mushy?

"I love you. There. THERE! I said it. Are ya happy now, bread for brains? I love you and you just gotta live with th-"

Strong Bad's words, which were going to be very important and rant-like, were instantly cut off by Homestar screaming and standing on the couch, jumping around on it and crushing chips in the process. The one still sitting let out many disgruntled and upset noises until he was picked up by the athlete, who continued to bounce while clinging to him.

"You're not mad at me! AND you love me? This is the best day ever!! I love you! I love you! I love you! Oh man!! I love you soooo much Strong Bad! I can't believe it!"

Homestar's words and gleeful screaming made the absolutely one hundred percent cool guy Strong Bad's stomach twist and want to hug him forever. After about 2 minutes of jumping though he started to feel his stomach twist for other reasons- too many snacks being jostled in his stomach- so he batted at Homestar's chest until he put him down. The small wrestler was plopped down with a small kiss on the cheek from the beaming long white loser, who flopped back on the couch with a giggle.

Huffing and trying to keep up his irritated composer, Strong Bad glanced at Homestar and instantly lost it, a smile creeping up on him. The smile was then forced down by a very obvious fake frown. "Don't go around telling people I'm soft because of this, though. I still beat you at Snake Boxer and everyone needs to know I'm the baddest man around."

"Of course!" Homestar bounced as he spoke, seeming to have entirely forgotten that the exact opposite went down. "I'm just happy you're not mad like Marzipan was! C-.. Can we date now instead? I mean, Marzipan's great and all, but she gets mad at me a lot and her food is gross. She won't even let me eat soap!"

"I thought me telling you that I feel the same for you was enough to indicate that, yes, we can date." The irritated facade he continued to try to pull also continued to be torn down by his amused expression and tone. Homestar bounced again in response.

"Awesome!! Now I can definitely trust you with my other secrets! Like, like when I broke your fun machine and you blamed it on the Cheat!"

Things were silent for a second as Strong Bad leaned against Homestar, seemingly paying more attention to the TV than what was going on now that things finally calmed down. Within a second though Homestar was yelping and running up the stairs as Strong Bad chased him, screaming threats and chasing while throwing the remaining boxes of unopened snacks after him.

**Author's Note:**

> i didnt know how to end it. gay!


End file.
